It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize