He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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