Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
