i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
