Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
