If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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