u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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