I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
