brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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