I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
