I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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