Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
