party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
