oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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