CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
