Banned from zoo.
Again?
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
i think my cat just said my name.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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