Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
