I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
