Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
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