I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Randomize
