I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Randomize
