Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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