i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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