This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
