I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Randomize
