I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
