Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
