you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
