My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Randomize