Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
