Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
