My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
