Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
