Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
