I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
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