been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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