How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
