it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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