Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I party with great urgency now.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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