Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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