I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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