Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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