Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
