she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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