I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
