we're blogging at a bar
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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