are you so shy because you have an std?
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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