She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Randomize
