You really coming over, don't trick.
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
