Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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