i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Randomize
