the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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