You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize
