It's Friday. Sex?
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize
