Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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