She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize