Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
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you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
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I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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