I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Do vagina's smell?
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Randomize
