i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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