just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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