I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
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If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
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I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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