this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
