I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Randomize
