SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize