she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
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